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Saturday, January 12, 2013

No better, for now

I wish I could say Janey was doing better today with her crying, but she isn't.  She's had a few okay moments, but in general, she's cried all day.  We have no idea what is going on, and it's scary.  I don't think she's sick, but we finally gave her some Tylenol in case, as I asked her where it hurt and she pointed a few different places.  I think something sets her off, and then it feeds on itself---she's crying because she's been crying.  If this goes on much longer, I don't know how we will handle it, or how she will.

We tried today---we took her out early to the thrift store she usually loves.  She was okay in the car, and part of the time in the store, but then there was a little boy crying and that set her off crying too.  Tony noted how their behavior was almost identical, although he was probably about 18 months old.  They talked about the same amount, and their cries sounded the same.  She cried a good deal of the ride home, and since then, it pretty much hasn't stopped.

Tony took the kids to the free flu shot clinic at the community center, as Boston has declared a flu emergency.  He was prepared to leave if Janey couldn't take it, or they couldn't take her, although we did want her to get a flu shot, but it's most vital for Freddy, who has pretty significant asthma and some other health issues.  Janey did start to scream her hysterical scream the minute they walked in, but for once it helped out.  It was very obvious to the workers there that she had some major special needs, and they let Tony and the kids go to the front of the line.  I always feel funny about anything that feels like special treatment, but there was no way she would have stood the hour or so the line would have taken, so it was what it took to get her a shot.  Then Tony took the kids to a local chicken place to get take-out, but Janey was too hysterical and he had to leave and walk home with her, leaving Freddy to have to pay with his limited cash for the order they had already put in.  We payed him back, of course, but it's just one more example of the siblings being affected and shortchanged by the screaming.

A minute ago, Tony called me from the car.  He had taken Janey with him to take Freddy to a friend's house (which I am sure will be an extremely welcome time of respite for Fred) and he was talking to Freddy about how we are handling the crying.  He said "We are having to divide and conquer to handle it" Then something amazing happened---Janey through her tears said very plainly, right away "Why does conquer mean, Daddy?" She has NEVER asked what anything meant before.  She has extremely, extremely rarely ever asked a question for information, just asked for physical items.  Tony and Freddy were both shocked.  So maybe, maybe, she is undergoing some kind of mental leap, which is causing her anguish.  We can hope it's something like that, but if it makes her this sad, I question whether it's even worth it.  Would I trade her being a little bit more aware for being a lot less happy?  I don't think so, although that might be hugely paternalistic of me.

It's been a rough weekend, and it's not even half way through.  I am appealing to whatever deity still will give me a chance with my limited faith to help us here.  Mostly, to help Janey, and ease whatever this horrible mental pain she's having is.


wellymom4 said...

I don't know what to say except hang in there, it will eventually pass or you will figure out what it is. You mentioned her holding her pee. Could she maybe have a uti? or bladder infection? You are probably right about going to the ER. Here in Maine we are kinda lucky to have Spring Harbor psychiatric hospital. They have a floor for developmental disorders too. Mostly austistic kids. My daughter has had to go there a few times at ages 8,9 and 14. The staff and doctors and even onsite school were great. It was so hard to leave her there (never longer than a week) but it allowed our family a break. My other kids were overwhelmed as we were. Good luck, I hope tonight is better.

Suzanne said...

I was really surprised to read that, because I'd never heard of Spring Harbor, and I am from Maine! I just looked it up and was quite impressed. I would have guessed, if I were guessing, that Maine had ever less services of that kind than here in Boston, but I would have been wrong. I am going to look at them more, because that could be a possibility if it ever reached that point---we aren't that far and I have family in Maine still. The UTI idea is good---I'm going to look at that. Tonight is a tiny, tiny bit calmer---we are getting some breaks in the crying. Thanks for reading and being there!

Becca said...

So sorry Janey (and all of you) are going through such a difficult time. I don't know what else to say as I know nothing I write can really help. I hope she feels better soon.

wellymom4 said...

Here is a brochure... where in Maine are you from?

Sabrina Steyling said...

I am so sorry about all of this; as wellymom4 said, I don't know what to say except hang in there. I will keep you all in my prayers; if nothing else I do hope that Janey's crying subsides soon. <3

Sakurafleur said...

Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you guys and hoping that things turn around soon.

Suzanne said...

Thanks for the information, Wellymom! It's bookmarked and saved, and very, very interesting to me. I'm from mid-coast Maine---Saint George. Where are you? I must say this blog kept me going yesterday and the day before (and today and always, but especially those days)---just having someplace to vent and work it all out and communicate with adults. Thank you!

1 out of 64 said...

What a great question Janey asked! Those are the things that make you smile & just all the more inquisitive.

A quote for you:
"A woman is like a teabag, you see her true strength when she is in hot water."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Janey has a great mom. And a strong one!