It's evening. Freddy and Tony are playing badminton in the driveway---not really playing, just hitting a birdie back and forth. I get Janey a racket and she holds it happily. Tony hits a few shots at her, very softly, and she hits them in the air. She laughs in hysterical delight. She runs up and down the driveway with the racket, just so thrilled to be included, to be outside, to have us around, to play with the family. I take a turn, and fall into a wet bush trying to get the birdie. We all laugh until we almost cry. Janey jumps up and down, happy as I've ever seen her. It strikes me that, that moment, life is perfect.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Two Janey Stories
Janey and I are driving her to summertime school. I have the iPod on random, listening to songs. "He Stopped Loving Her Today" comes on ( if you don't know the song, you can hear it here ). A few songs later, Janey starts screaming "A terrible song! A terrible song!" I assume she means whatever song is playing just then, and turn off the music. Then she starts saying in an hysterical voice "HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY! HE STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY!" She is crying and crying. I say "It's just a song, Janey. It's over. Don't worry" but she keeps crying. I say "Mama will NEVER stop loving you. That's impossible!" She calms a little. I go on "Daddy will never stop loving you. William and Freddy will never stop loving you. None of us will. We never could" She is a little calmer, but a few minutes later, starts again---"he STOPPED LOVING her today!" I wonder at what she picks up on. Is it that somehow that somehow she never thought of that concept---that someone could stop loving someone else? It must terrify her. But it's so hard to figure out how she gets those glimpses of clarity. How is it that she can sometimes seem to understand so little, then suddenly be horrified by the lyrics of a song? What else is she understanding that we have no idea she is?