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Saturday, August 18, 2012

The shopping trip that wasn't

Today, Tony took Janey with him to got to Trader Joe's, with William and my brother-in-law. We all love Trader Joe's, as has Janey in the past. William was excited to get some of his favorite low priced frozen foods, Tony was excited to get the great store brand Swiss Cheese they have, and Joe (my brother-in-law) was excited to get some of their Sicilian wine. And all was jolly until they were about 10 minutes from the store. Janey started saying she wanted to go home, but it was a low level grumble. Then, when they got there and got out, she started The Crying. The crying that has, we now realize, reached a new level of intensity the last few days. Maybe it's an 8 year old thing. She screamed and crying so loudly, so intensely, that Tony experienced my Sears disaster in parking lot form. People staring, EVERYONE in earshot staring. It's that kind of cry. And it was impossible for them to go in the store. Tony offered to stay out with Janey, but Joe was too shaken and William doesn't have his own debit card to pay. And so they left.

William was very, very, very angry about this. I can't totally blame him. It's not the first time his life has been changed by Janey, of course, but lately, it's not just hard to do things if she acts that way, it's impossible. The probably 5 minutes total I was in the Sears were such hell that a whole shopping trip like that would be whatever is way beyond hell. For us, and for everyone else in the store. Janey might very well hurt herself, as she sometimes starts banging her head or biting herself when the fury and sadness completely overcomes her. And so we can't power through this.

And now she is home, fairly happy. And we are at a bit of a loss. One of the main ways I got a little respite was Tony taking Janey grocery shopping. She likes, or liked, to grocery shop. If this new behavior lasts, I can see us much more confined to home. And of course I worry---if she does this at school, I can't imagine how it will work out. I feel worried sometimes we are headed for a new stage of Janey. Or maybe I shouldn't say worried. Often, very tough behavior with her comes before a step ahead, and indeed, she has been saying some good phrases lately, and the toilet training progress is, knock on wood, great. I have no answers, really.

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