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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Terrible Twos? Terrible Eights?

It's a little hard to describe how Janey has been lately. If I had to pick one word, it would probably be "trying". She has been very trying. But if I had a few words, I'd try to capture the good parts too---funny, alert, connected. And a few more not positive ones---naughty, defiant, loud, angry.

It feels a lot like what we have been told the terrible twos are. Neither William nor Freddy were particularly terrible at 2. William was tougher around 4, Freddy as a baby (and some could say, in some parts of his teen years, but that's hitting a little close to home, sorry, Fred!) But she is acting like I've heard the terrible 2s described. Everything is a big deal. Lots of NO NO NO, lots of loud demands, lots of just making herself heard. It's great, in a few ways, but as many things with Janey, the tough parts are magnified. Part of this is just she's a lot bigger than a 2 year old. I can't lift her any more. She is rapidly gaining on me in strength, and getting taller all the time. You can put things out of a 2 year old's reach, but not an almost 8 year old.

A few scenes---Janey wanting bacon. She asks once a little nicely, but her patience is gone after that. She gets right in Tony's face and screams "I WANT BACON NOW!" shaking her finger. Needless to say she didn't get any right then, but we almost had to laugh, that first time. It's not quite as funny now that she is using that tone for almost anything she wants. Later--Janey is wet. She is doing better with the potty, but far from perfect, but finally, it bothers her to be wet. We are in the drug store, and she wants to be changed. RIGHT NOW. She screams at the top of her lungs "I WANT PULL OFF. I WANT TO BE CHANGED!" She gets down on the floor and tries to pull off her shorts. I go to take her out, but I can't keep her contained. Tony has to take her instead. It's why I don't do things solo much at all any more. It's too scary. Another scene---Janey is in the back yard. She notices the neighbors are having a cookout, and goes to the fence and yells to them "I WANT A HOT DOG!" They are probably so startled to be addressed directly by Janey they don't know what to say. I take her inside for a hot dog.

But a more cheerful scene---we are picking up Freddy from a class he's been at. Janey is like a comedian in the car. She repeats almost everything we say, with a funny twist or a changed word. She recalls long ago phrases, and seems to be doing little routines. She sasses at Freddy, in a little sister way. We are all laughing our heads off. She's like a one woman show.

She gets very defiant. That's the hardest part. She wants some of my coffee drink. I say no. As I turn my head, she grabs it and flings it on the floor, then looks at me. It feels like she wants me to yell, and I give in and yell. I am not a yeller. But I am yelling repeatedly lately. I hate that. I can stay calm if I feel she doesn't know what she is doing, but lately, it feels like she does know very well. She wants a little excitement.

I think, overall, it's a good stage. But a very, very, very tiring one.

1 comment:

Kim said...

My Abby just turned 19, yesterday I asked her to vacuum the livingroom and she said NO! I said its Vac or your room and she picked her room!!! I couldn't believe it! She eventually came down and still wouldn't vacuum and got sent back to her room...finally I wondered if there was a REASON she wouldn't Vac&being nonverbal couldn't tell me so I gave her another option, clean the tub. She still said no! Lol. I explained we all have to pitch in and help out here...well, eventually she scrubbed the tub. I won. It was an all day battle. She's 19! Hang in there...she also makes me laugh out loud almost EVERY day...been doing this a long time. Told my husband the other day I love our kids more than anyone else, but I don't think I could live with them for the rest of my life...even Abby...