When they say their house is messy, they mean a few magazines hanging around, not HARD CORE messy.
They aren't afraid to fly.
They aren't afraid to drive on the highway.
They have a hair stylist---they would never cut their own hair and hope for the best.
They never run out of money at the end of a pay cycle.
They drive an SUV or a minivan.
They pick out a wardrobe, not just buy what looks okay at the thrift store.
They take vacations at resorts.
They don't let their pieced ears grow back.
They listen to music groups I've never heard of, and didn't say "who the heck is that?" when Adele won at the Grammies.
They go out with the girls for drinks.
They complain about how often youth soccer and baseball practices occur.
They know how to wrap presents prettily.
Their biggest thrill of the week isn't picking up books at the library.
They watch TV shows right the night they are on, so they can talk about them before everyone else is tired of them.
They have dogs, not cats.
They go to the Cape or New Hampshire on weekends.
They have a dental plan.
They like parties, not dread them.
They have handwriting that is legible.
They seem to get memos about the latest trends.
They belong to gyms.
They have a babysitter.
They grew up in a suburb, not a rural area.
They don't play video games ever.
They read best-sellers.
They don't let their kids eat or drink in the car.
They don't have allergies that make them sneeze and cough a lot.
They dye their hair and not let it be all gray.
They have lots of shoes.
They know how to put on make-up.
They know how to decorate and don't just put a lot of random stuff on their walls.
They are just cool. They don't TRY to be cool---they just are.
Okay, you are asking---what does this all have to do with autism? Not a whole lot. But it was prompted by an article that said something like "autism is currently the cool diagnosis" I thought---wow. I've never been cool. I'm not good at being cool. Is this autism gig finally my ticket to Cool Village? But is Janey the cool kind of autism? Am I treating her with the cool treatments? How can I use this all to my advantage to look cool when I want to? Is this going to overcome my tragic lack of fashion sense and make-up skills?
I'm not easily offended. I don't start crusades when I hear people using terms I don't like. But don't take the disorder that makes Janey's life so tough, that affects our whole family in hundreds of ways, that takes away so much from my precious girl's life and call it cool. That's not cool.
Rarer in Girls...Life with my daughter Janey, who is twenty and severely autistic
3 comments:
I identify with you in this post! I have always felt different from everybody else. Then I have this kid who is different and I think, well of course YOU would have the different kid. I thought having a child would make me more like everybody else, but it has actually made me even more different, now I feel isolated from all the typical kid parents out there... at the park, at the daycare. But sometimes I think this special child makes me special, because you know what, I'm working harder than any of them are to raise my sweet Tate. I wear it like a badge of honor.
As well you should! There really is a difference between raising typical kids and our non-typical ones, in terms of how it feels around other parents. I guess people naturally relate to each other over similar experiences, and when my experiences are Janey screaming for hours on end, or reciting lines of a video instead of interacting with the other kids, it doesn't lead to bonding. In my strong moments I can think "what's different about me is what makes me me!" and all those things you are supposed to think, but in other moments I just wish I could totally be like everyone else. Thanks as always for reading and commenting, Sara!
Lol I'm with you! Except I do dye my hair lol!
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