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Friday, May 18, 2012

"I have a lot of angry"

Janey had an off and on day today, at least after school. We went to visit a friend of the family after school, and she was great at first, very happy, but gradually deteriorated and cried a fair amount, which she hasn't done in a while. Then she cried most of the way home, but I calmed her down at home, and she was okay for a while, but had another huge crying spell near bedtime. As I always do, I was asking her what was wrong as I comforted her. That's when she paused and talked in the way she does once in a very, very, very long time, in a different voice and tone than she usually uses. She said "I have (big pause) a lot of angry" Tony heard it too, and we were both taken aback. It was an original sentence, not a quote, and there was just that tone we so rarely hear. She sounded...regular. Not autistic. Like she was thinking about what she was saying, and not repeating a set phrase, and like she really wanted us to understand.

I hugged her and said we all get angry sometimes, and that she must often feel angry when we don't understand her. Then she quoted some from the Care Bears movie "Don't trouble yourself. We know one thing about people you care about. They always let you down" Those are lines from when the little orphans the Care Bears are trying to help reject their help. I couldn't help but wonder if she chose it on purpose to try to make a point. I said I was very sorry if I ever let her down, and trying to help her was never, ever trouble. I was probably way over her head by that point, but who knows? She is surprising me a lot lately, and maybe she really does understand a lot more than what she usually shows.

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