Happy and Sad New Year

The new year has started off in such a mixed way. New Year's Day was great. Janey was at the best I've seen her in a LONG time. She was talking so much, playing pretend play all day with her cotton cats from Peru, making them hug, talking to me, being so engaged,using words I haven't heard her use in a year, asking for her Care Bears movie which she has had no interest in for a long long time---it was truly wonderful. When she has a day like that, I think it will last. I guess I am an optimist at heart, and I always think the good times will last and the bad times won't last long. It isn't always true. The next few days were awful. She was angry and upset all day, lashing out, trying to bite a lot, crying, etc. Yesterday Tony was up with her early, and I woke up to her having an extremely severe fit---and screaming "I'm NOT CRAZY!" I have no idea where she heard that word applied to her. It all started when Tony let her turn on the coffee maker. He had no idea why that set her off. Later, I broke my vow and tried to go to the Chinese buffet with all of us. She was okay for a while, eating french fries with ketchup, but then got upset and smashed her hands into the ketchup in a bowl, screamed so loud there was no question of keeping her in there. I took her out to the car and spent the end of yet another restaurant meal calming her in the car. Never again. But she started talking about the morning, and said "I broke the coffee maker! It made a sound! I'm sorry!" I think she thought the turning on sound was the sound of it breaking, and she was scared by it. I guess it's progress she did talk about what happened, but there are so many sounds out there and it's so hard to keep any of them from scaring her. It just goes on forever and ever.