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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Happy moments but also asthma

Freddy's asthma has been acting up a little. He is the only one of the three that's never had an autism spectrum diagnosis, and not co-incidentally I am sure the only one I had a normal pregnancy with. He nursed for 2 1/2 years also. But despite all that, his physical health is much worse than William or Janey. They are both rarely sick and seem to have strong immune systems, but Freddy got sick all the time as a little guy, and now has fairly significant asthma. We learned to really take it more seriously this past summer when he wound up in the hospital for two nights with a terrible attack. Now he is on 2 daily medications and 2 more as needed. He needed them lately when his peak flow meter showed he wasn't moving air well, and he was coughing a lot. I kept him home from school for two days which made him very angry. He is very sociable and hates to be kept home. But he couldn't promise me he would take his medication every 4 hours at school, although it's there and he has blanket permission to use it, so I couldn't let him go. I think he doesn't like to be set apart by having to take it. I talked to his advisor about it yesterday and I think we have a handle on it, and his peak flow was better today. I have probably gone from not taking it all seriously enough to taking it too seriously, but that is what an extremely scary time in the hospital watching them trying to help him breath will do.

But yesterday felt happy too. Janey had a show at school, their school does a very lot of music shows starting with the littlest kids. I didn't want to take Freddy out, so Tony came home to take her to school and see the show. My happy moment was dressing her up for it. It was somehow one of those moments where parenting is exactly how you once pictured it. I put her in a jumper dress and a turtleneck and tights and cute shoes, and her hair is long and with no bangs, back in a pony tail, and she looked so wonderful. She was in a very happy mood, and just the last week or so she seems to have changed from a toddler type to a little girl. I couldn't stop looking at her and crying a little. In some ways this is all my dream life, having a sweet little girl and two interesting and fun and smart boys and just watching them grow. I have to let myself forget all the not good parts sometimes and just be grateful for what I have.

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