Here's Janey getting her salt and vinegar chips from "the chips store", aka the CVS. She knows right where to go to get them. The other day she thought she'd try some sour cream and cheddar instead, which surprised me greatly, but today she was back to her old faithful. Then she thought she'd get creative and grab a Hershey's Almond---this was after I had paid, and she tried to open it, rendering it unsalable. So I went back and bought it. The cashier said "Don't you want one that isn't all crushed for her treat?" and I said no, she crushed that one so I'd buy that one, but she certainly wasn't getting it as an additional treat! The cashier looked a little troubled by my strictness. She meant well, but that's a message I'd rather not send "Can you give me a fresh new Hershey's Bar to replace the one my daughter crushed when she was attempting to steal it? I don't want her treat to be all mushed!" Of course, Janey doesn't get stealing, but she does get that we don't open things in stores and we don't get things unless I say it's okay. I thought about not letting her have the chips, either, but those were a reward for being very good at the library, and that is an example of where the autism does modify my parenting. I don't think at this point Janey would have had any idea what not giving her the chips had to do with her mushing the candy. She did get it about the candy---she asked for it over and over and I told her over and over why she couldn't have it, and why it was going to be a treat for Freddy instead. It all gets complicated, and who knows if I am handling it all correctly, but there's no guidebook for this kind of thing. We are all making up the rules as we go along.
Rarer in Girls...Life with my daughter Janey, who is twenty and severely autistic
Friday, June 8, 2012
The Chips Store
Here's Janey getting her salt and vinegar chips from "the chips store", aka the CVS. She knows right where to go to get them. The other day she thought she'd try some sour cream and cheddar instead, which surprised me greatly, but today she was back to her old faithful. Then she thought she'd get creative and grab a Hershey's Almond---this was after I had paid, and she tried to open it, rendering it unsalable. So I went back and bought it. The cashier said "Don't you want one that isn't all crushed for her treat?" and I said no, she crushed that one so I'd buy that one, but she certainly wasn't getting it as an additional treat! The cashier looked a little troubled by my strictness. She meant well, but that's a message I'd rather not send "Can you give me a fresh new Hershey's Bar to replace the one my daughter crushed when she was attempting to steal it? I don't want her treat to be all mushed!" Of course, Janey doesn't get stealing, but she does get that we don't open things in stores and we don't get things unless I say it's okay. I thought about not letting her have the chips, either, but those were a reward for being very good at the library, and that is an example of where the autism does modify my parenting. I don't think at this point Janey would have had any idea what not giving her the chips had to do with her mushing the candy. She did get it about the candy---she asked for it over and over and I told her over and over why she couldn't have it, and why it was going to be a treat for Freddy instead. It all gets complicated, and who knows if I am handling it all correctly, but there's no guidebook for this kind of thing. We are all making up the rules as we go along.
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1 comment:
I think you handled it that same way I would. I question myself sometimes, especially in public. But, If I don't stick to the rules Kaden will escalate and then the whole world would hear and see his mega melt down.
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