Lately, Janey has done a few things that make me half wonder---can she read? It would seem unbelievable to us---she doesn't seem to know letters, she hasn't shown any signs of reading readiness---but a few odd things have happened that make me wonder. Just now was the oddest---she was watching YouTube videos, and they show suggestions for other ones on the side. One of them was "Maisy Rain". The picture had no sign of rain in it, and we don't think she's ever seen that particular Maisy, but she said "I want Maisy Rain" and clicked on the picture. It was a little freaky. Lately she's also been asking for videos on the Netflix instant cue by name, including one that I don't think we've ever told her the name of "Kipper Puppy Love". Freddy has told me several times he was sure she read things, also. But I am skeptical. I don't think she can read. But I do wonder. She knows all her VHS tapes apart, and a few of them are identical except for the names of the video. I figured there must be some other cue besides the words, but maybe not.
The fact she can easily click on YouTube videos is also odd. I don't think she shows this skill at school at all. But when she's in the mood, she can use YouTube like a pro. She often does it when we aren't looking---we will turn around and some video is playing we never even knew existed. A few times, it's been when YouTube or the internet wasn't even open to start with.
But it all is part of the whole problem. It's like having a computer with a damaged hard drive. There is tons of information and programs stored there, but accessing them is the problem. We know Janey knows the names of hundreds and hundreds of objects. When she is completely in the mood, and we are rewarding her, she will name almost anything you put in front of her. I've talked lots of times about how many songs she knows by heart. But you can't access any of this information easily. You can't say to her "Sing 'God Bless America'", which she knows cold. She would never do it. But when she's seized with a patriotic mood, she'll sing the heck out of it.
I don't know how to help her access what she knows. Maybe she doesn't want to. I wish it was easier for her. I feel like I should just be glad she does know what I know she knows, and not have to have it be provable, but I am not. I want her to be able to show others. Maybe that's what I need to let go of.