Worrying

I didn't sleep well last night, just worrying about things. Janey got mixed reviews on her first day. The special ed teacher said things went well, some crying, but not severe. The ABA woman wrote that Janey had a rough time, though, lots of tantrums and screaming and biting her clothes. She seemed spacy when she got home. That is what Tony and I were noticing lately---she seems more out of it than usual. I couldn't sleep and finally woke tony up and we had a good talk about all of it, about how we are going to try even harder to engage her. It's easy to say we will just put everything else aside, but then there's the little matter of having 2 other kids who need us too. Freddy is just starting at Latin and the homework is starting to pile in, and William has his usual anxieties and oddities. The housework is building up, and our finances are tough---back to school was VERY expensive this year---the school supplies the boys needed were not cheap. Yesterday I saw in Janey's class almost everyone is wearing a uniform (blue or white top, blue or khaki pants) and I just don't have that for Janey. She is actually low on clothes, to my amazement. I had to finally last night make a Lands' End order of some different blue tops. She doesn't need to stand out even more than she already does. But she eats her shirts now---chews holes into them within minutes. I can't afford new clothes every day. It just all starts to close in after a while.