I was reading a few other autism blogs, and it was depressing. So so so many kids that are diagnosed with autism seem so much higher functioning than Janey. It almost makes me mad---I want to say "That isn't autism! That's just a quirky kid! I HAVE one of those---it's nothing like having a kid that REALLY has autism!" But of course that is mean and unnecessary. I just felt upset reading about kids that can read at 5 and have interesting insights and so on. Janey doesn't have any interesting insights. I really wonder if she will ever read, or even learn her letters. Her latest hobby is spreading the content of her diapers on things. She is talking mostly in Kipper dialogue. She is not getting better.
The other thing that bugged me is how literary the blogs all were, like they were a contest to seem intellectual. I can write as prettily as the best person, but that isn't what I see this being for, but I have to remind myself---that's just me, and I am writing this FOR MYSELF mainly. I just wish I could find someone like myself, with a girl with autism who is fairly low functioning. Or a boy. Someone who hasn't bought totally into any one philosophy and is skeptical of all treatments, someone who knows the difference between mild Aspergers that might turn into no Aspergers (which was my son William's story) and hard core autism.
This is a nasty post. But it's how I'm feeling right now.