Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The scariest thoughts
I am not the most scared of autism. Although it's not going to be a picnic, I feel somehow we will get through it and Janey will be happy, which is what I mostly care about. My scariest thoughts are if it's not autism really, if it's the other things that were hinted at during her assessment. She needs an MRI. When she had one at 18 months, there were some abnormal spots. No-one explained them well to me. We now need to know what they are. She needs a EEG. She might be having absence seizures. We need to figure out why her heart sounds funny. I fear in my darkest moments she has some kind of horrible genetic disease that will take her away from me. My sister lost her love last month to Marfan's Syndrome and complications of heart surgery. He was 40. He was a special, one in a million person. It does happen. People have terrible things happen to them, for no reason at all.