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Monday, October 14, 2013

Stress Times Ten

Just a brief entry here.  The past few weeks have been stressful.  Tony, my husband, is a federal employee, and therefore has been not working for the past two weeks, with no end in sight.  I don't generally let money issues stress me, but just having our routine changed and the uncertainty is stress enough, and the lack of pay is not fun.  We had two appointments last week regarding Janey.  I'll write more about them when I can, but they both upset me in different ways.  Janey had an off and on tough week.  This weekend, however, has been great with her, but unfortunately not with her brother William.  William called on Saturday and said he was homesick and wanted to come home for a while from college.  We went to get him, and it was apparent after a short time home that his anxiety level was unbelievably high.  He's having a very tough time adjusting to campus life.  He's made a good amount of friends, but Brandeis is a very different environment that he's been used to in his urban high school or at home with a loud Italian family.  I went back to campus with him yesterday and spent some time, and even I felt like fleeing from the quietness and the intense and focused social interactions.  William is committed to staying in college, and we are going to support him all we can.  But I have a feeling it's going to be a rough ride.  He worked so so hard to get into a very good school, and it's breaking my heart he is feeling so sad and overwhelmed.

And so we go on.  As with all of you out there on this journey of special needs parenting, or indeed parenting at all, we put one foot in front of the other each day and go on, because that's what we have to do.  We go on with hope that tomorrow will be easier, that our children will be happy and thriving and living the best lives they can.  My religion has left me, for the most part, but there are no atheists in foxholes, and I prayed a bit this weekend, to whoever might be listening, to keep my kids safe and happy.  I truly can ask no more in life but that.


grammacello said...

Suzanne, I get it again. My younger son, the third child, flunked out of first year at University. Forward 12years and he just defended and passed his Phd dissertation, has a GOOD job, and he and his fiance made Thanksgiving dinner for the family at their place. He is an amazing adult, These are growing pains. I am willing to bet William will be just fine in the end. Thinking of you.i

Sabrina Steyling said...

I'm sorry that you're having a rough patch, and that William is homesick. I have no doubt that things will work out for William, and for your husband as well.

You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Oxblog said...

William's experience is totally normal-- college is a huge and stressful transition. The first semester is really tough for almost everyone.

Not only is it the first time he's lived alone, he has a ton of work and a pretty synthetic and high pressure social environment to contend with. The weird thing about college is that in some ways it's very atomistic: you live in your own room or with a roomate, with very few external responsibilities and other people available to cater to your basic needs (ie to cook your food, put a roof over your head, etc). On the other hand, I always felt pressure from the fact that I was never really at home, and could never completely let my guard down and relax. It can be at once very lonely and simultaneously socially exhausting.

William will get in his groove, and as he accumulates a few semesters' experience more friends and a greater confidence, I am sure it will get easier.