Update Notes

Janey has been at her new school for about two weeks now.  That's far too early to really draw any conclusions, but I think mostly, overall, it's been a good transition.  Or at least much better than I had feared.  Janey is taking the bus quite readily, which alone makes my day a lot easier, and I get some good reports.  Today's report wasn't quite as good---they get a paper which has a circled happy or sad face saying "Today I had a.. (either Good Day or Hard Time), and today, Hard Time was circled, and it said Janey did a great job at recess but had a hard time at working, at lunch and during iPads.  Several other day's reports have mentioned a hard time working, but she excels at recess!  I hope as she settles into the routine, she will work more readily.

At home, things have been tough.  Janey's good spell, which was in full force when she started the new school, is now certainly over.  She is coming home and screaming---screaming at full intensity.  Even Freddy, who stays calmer than almost any of us, was shaken a few nights by how extreme the screaming was.  She does seem to get over it more quickly than at some times in the past, but it comes back often.  We are trying to feed her the minute she comes in the door, and to make bedtime earlier, as I think she comes home tired and hungry.  The screaming also gets triggered lately by ANY television or videos.  Janey seems frustrated by not quite being able to control the TV---it's too complicated with the switches and modes to switch between Netflix, Amazon and broadcast and even old fashioned VHS.  She is happier usually with YouTube, which she seems to be able to navigate more easily.

This weekend, Tony witnessed a bit of a breakthrough.  He came over and noticed Janey had put a long string of "k"s in the search box for YouTube.  He asked her what she wanted to see, and she said "Kipper!"  I do think she was trying to type Kipper.  She did it again yesterday.  It was exciting for us to see her making that kind of association between a word sound and a letter.

I think I had a hope, somewhere in my mind, the part of my mind that isn't terribly realistic, the part that should have learned better by now, that since Janey switched to the new school during such a great mood stretch, she would stay happy for good.  I wouldn't have said that, if anyone asked, but there was some kind of hope, some kind of feeling that maybe she was outgrowing everything tough.  The screaming lately, combined with arm biting and some crying, seem hard to take.  They are always hard to take, but somehow they are harder when I let myself hope, even almost subconsciously, that they are gone.  I know people sometimes see me as a pessimist, because I don't get overly excited when Janey is doing very well.  But the truth is, I'm much more of a hopeless optimist than I let on.  I have to push back those natural optimist feelings, because the fall back to reality is so very hard.

However, there is much good lately.  I remain hopeful we made the move to the new school at the right time---not too early and not too late.  I am hopeful that Janey will start learning more.  I am hopeful that we will continue to gradually understand her screaming and crying better, and respond to it better.  I am hopeful that she will be happier as the weeks and months and years go by.  We are so lucky to have so many people sharing that hope, and working to make it a reality.

Group hug end to a great week

Janey's new school has a half day on Fridays.  For now, I am going to take her to her old school for the second half of that day.  She got home on the bus about 12:45, and off we went.  I must say---one thing I don't miss AT ALL is the drive!  I got very used to it over the years, but it only took a week of the bus for me to get NOT used to it!  But it was always worth it to arrive at our destination, and Friday was no exception.  Janey did look confused at first when she saw where we were---like she was thinking "Hey!  I am going to the new school now!  Why are we here at the old school?" but it only took her a minute to get very happy she was there.  We went down to her old classroom, where her classmates were waiting to see her.

And then---a movie moment.  One of those moments that you can't script, one that will stay in my mind forever and ever.  Almost every kid in Janey's old class got up from their seats and ran over and hugged Janey.  It was a huge, amazing group hug.  Many kids were saying "Janey!  We miss you!"  Janey had a second of looking overwhelmed, and then she smiled---a calm, happy smile, like she was just getting her due!  Wow.  That was wonderful.

Michelle, Janey's ABA therapist who works with her in her new school and also did at her old school (and still works with other kids there) told me the kids ask about Janey every day and want to see pictures and hear about what she is doing.  That's great to hear.  It was also great to hear all she had to tell me about the new school---stories like how Janey noticed the para in the room had a pickle in her lunch, and started asking every day for a pickle, so now the para brings her one too, how wonderful the gym teachers are and how much Janey loves gym, how they work on life skills like brushing hair and teeth (several days I noticed Janey came home with her hair more skillfully done that I did it in the morning), how another girl in the class sometimes looks to Janey to see what she is doing, and then does what she does (it was great thinking of Janey maybe being a bit of a leader like that!)---so many good stories.  And Janey, the little sneak, is evidently using the POTTY at school---something she won't do at home and wouldn't do at her old school.  I don't think she realizes we all communicate!

Last week was really a terrific week.  Janey went happily on the bus like a pro, I got almost all good reports, we had the triumphant return with the hug---it was terrific.  This weekend is seeing a return to some cranky behaviors, and some poor sleeping, which I hope is just the weekend change of routine and not the start of a tougher spell, but we'll always have last week!

Thanks to all of you for your support, here and on my Facebook page.  In my extreme nervousness about how all this would go, it was a lifesaver to have a place to post updates and share my happiness and concerns.  It amazes me every day that there are people out there all over the country and world that care about Janey and our family.  Please know how much it means to me.