Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Janey being the bright spot

The last four days or so have been tough in a lot of ways.  Some weird thing is going on with the power in our section of the city, resulting in the last 3 nights out of 4 being completely without power, in the midst of a very hot spell.  It felt extra hot for me, as I was quite sick, with a high fever over the weekend and a throat that was bad enough so when I finally went to the doctor yesterday, her first words on looking at it were "Yikes!  Wow!"  In the midst of all this, somehow our washing machine stopped draining, resulting in a buildup of laundry to the sky, with no end in sight.  Yesterday, after a day when the power was on and off, and kept browning out, and finally went off once again, and then back on, and then they called to say it would be off all night, tiredness from sickness and sleepless nights caught up with me and I got into a weepy spell, just unable to snap out of it, despite firmly telling myself that all these were minor, first world type problems.

But what was the sunshine through all this?  My sweet Janey!  I can't think of four days of sweeter, easier behavior from her!  She has been, without a single qualification, a delight.  A smile has barely left her face, she's been saying cute things and showing a lot of understanding, she's gone along happily with anyplace we needed to go or anything we needed to do, she slept all night in the hot without a problem---she's been a joy.

Of course, with my overthinking mind, I'm trying to make a connection or a conclusion here.  One thought is that for years now, Janey and her issues have been our focus.  It makes me think to have a spell where other things were higher on my mind.  And I wonder if that has actually helped her some.  Not that we have been ignoring her---we can't.  But we haven't had the laser focus on her I think we often do.  This has coincided with her, for the first time, showing a little interest in being alone now and then.  She can't be totally alone, of course, but if we can see her and check on her every minute, she can be in the next room.  Lately she is often going into William's room when he isn't there and playing with the electronic keyboard he has set up, or sometimes just lying down on his bed and resting.  It feels like she is wanting that down time, away from us all.  Although I think a lot of people have the image of autistic kids wanting to be alone a lot, that has not been Janey.  She's an extrovert, like her brothers and father, and she likes to be around us, whether happy or sad, or she has up to this point.  It's made me happy to see a little of myself in her, as I am the queen of liking to be alone.  Maybe she is starting to need some space, mental and physical.

Things feel better today. I feel better, and the power is back on, hopefully to stay.  And hopefully, Janey will stay happy.  For one of the first times, I feel like she helped me get through some bad days, just by being her sweet self.  Thank you, Janey!

1 comment:

Sophie's Trains said...

It's nice that you say Janey is an extrovert, I think a lot of people have this idea that being autistic automatically makes you an introvert. When Sophie was little we laughed that she was our most social child. She has gotten more self-absorbed for sure but still seems to enjoy the company of others and smiles readily.
It's great that Janey helped you get through your challenging days.