Three Great Days

The last three days with Janey were some of the best days I think I've ever had with her.  Just like her tough times, there is no rhyme or reason to the good times---they are just as unexplained and unexpected as the tough time.  Friday had the setup for disaster.  We were only supposed to get a little snow, but by very early in the day it was evident we were getting much more than predicted.  However, Boston only likes to call snow days the day before, and so although we here wound up getting probably 18 inches of snow, there was school anyway.  There was no way I could drive in that, and even though Tony would have driven Janey, at the time school was starting, the snow looked blizzard-like, and so I just kept her home.  I have to admit I was dreading a day with her stuck in the house, outside her regular schedule and alone (the boys went to school)  I never would have guessed what a great day we had.  She was happy, calm and content the whole day.  She cheerily followed me around on my household routine, she watched a few show but didn't get upset or obsessed about them, we cuddled and sang and listened to music.  I wasn't even drained at the end of the day.  It was amazing.  The weekend was just as good.  She was cheerful almost all of the time.  Tony and I had a lot of moments of the kind of thoughts we only have when she's that happy---how at those times, she's probably easier than your typical 8 year old.  She is thrilled to go with us to the thrift store, or on a ride just to get gas for the car.  She's excited by the idea of bacon for breakfast as much as if we had given her 10 presents.  She is overwhelmed with happiness just to hear her favorite song played.  She can be such a joy sometimes.

I have been trying to figure out what made her so happy these days, if only to be able to reproduce it.  The only thing Tony and I have been able to figure out is she likes us to be around and giving her attention, but not forcing attention on her.  On Friday, I didn't sit down and try to make her listen to books, or work on papers.  I didn't suggest new shows to watch, or try to do special projects.  I washed dishes while we played music, I sat next to her while she watched her shows, I talked on the phone while she did her jumping around and her songs near me.  I didn't try to work, but I didn't work on her.  We were just together.  Tony has noticed the same thing.  She doesn't want us to be doing things away from her, like on the computer or busy with some intense project, but if we are talking to her, near her, we can be kind of parallel playing with her.  It also makes a big difference if we are in cheery mood ourselves.  Janey is intensely tuned into tone of voice.  I think it goes along with her ear for music.  She might not get what we are saying, but if we sound tense or upset, she gets tense and upset.

On days like the past few, we are not scared of the future.  We can picture a future where it's just the three of us---the boys with lives of their own, and Tony, Janey and I being a unit---the child we will always have.  It's not a thought that fills us with dread on good days.  There could be worse things than having someone to delight in the small things always with us.  Of course, there are other days, as anyone who has read much on here, that I don't feel that way at all.  For all I know, tomorrow could be back to one of those days.  But that doesn't take away the happiness of these good days.